VD

Yes, yes, I know. I hate schmaltz. You all may remember previous posts where I put up pictures of open heart surgery, joke about venereal disease (hence the "VD" title of this very post), and I generally wear black.

So, while I'm not wearing black (blue, green, and white today, actually), I still try to remember that Valentine's Day can be so very very lonely. And a horrible excuse for buying things. My gift today will be a beautiful evening with soup and games, perhaps with a few heart-shaped biscuits. Because that's how I roll.

And so, since today is overly hyped as a day of buying and receiving, I'd like to remind you that it's the small things that show you love the ones you are with--the making of small things, the small attentions, the very best way life together in community works. Don't go buy tons of flowers, or jewelry, or chocolate (though I'm thrilled to get chocolate any other day) because that's what you are told to do. Make things, be thoughtful. For your co-workers, your family, your friends.

Today, by the way, is St. Valentine's Day. Saint Valentine, I will remind you, is the patron saint of bee keepers.

So on a day like today, I think of all those I love and who love me; if I could, I'd give my favorite bee keeper a hug.

Domesticity

Winter is a time for staying in, building a fire, and reading a good book.

Because I tend to (read: always) run on the cold side, I enjoy curling up in a small ball under the covers with a cup of coffee. And now, recently, I've begun not wanting to travel out as much, but to stay in and make things.

In the past, this has manifested itself as cooking, cleaning, perhaps an odd knitting project or two. But now, it includes mental preparations for making a home. Refinishing furniture, sewing little girls dresses (a good friend in Germany just had her second baby, and she'll need a dress!), mending things.

Mending things?

The other day, I saw a tear in TJ's work overalls. And so I asked if I would be allowed to fix them.

Now, they aren't good as new, but hopefully I would not shame my mother with the job I did (I tend to be careless about small details, while my mother gets all of the small things perfectly). I know, I used white thread when I was instructed to use blue. But you didn't put blue thread in my sewing kit, Mom!

Here's the patch I sewed on:




Does the material in the background look familiar?

Those of you who have been a roommate or a close friend over the past 15 years will recognize the pattern--they are from my favorite pair of pajama pants I've had since High School. In the last year or two, they have gotten quite thin through the seat. A week ago, they tore.

(And what satisfaction I get out of wearing something through!)

Now my pajamas have new life, and hopefully TJ will be stuck thinking of me every time he gets ready for work.

What does the future hold, I wonder?

So much seems to be happening in life right now. I won't be getting into it much, but suffice it to say that my head is spinning. And it includes me trying to write my dissertation in just a little over a year.

As we prepare for another season of Lent at St. B's, I'm reminded about how important spiritual disciplines are. For now, I'm trying to remain in the moment, enjoying what I have. It means focusing on a simple life, looking to God and understanding His blessings in these things, as well as remaining faithful to Him by waiting to see what He has in store.

I look forward to sharing this with you all in the future.

Notes on Theodicy

This morning, as part of my morning read, I came across this passage from Guardini:

"How an evil exist, and the destruction caused by evil exist, in a world God created? God wanted the world to be good and healthy; has it not in fact proved a failure? The answer is that God wished the world to reach its culmination in man's freedom and He must therefore give this freedom the power of decision, even against Himself. But, it is urged, Got knew from eternity what form that decision would take. Why, then, did He create the world at all? One possible reply is that these questions touch upon the realm of absolute mystery and therefore both the questions and any answers we try to give them are necessarily inadequate. None the less, a man has to put these questions; it is the only way he can express the most disturbing note in all existence. Why, then, did God bring a creature into being when He foresaw the way it would go?" (From: "Freedom, Grace, Destiny")

As Sudan stands on the cusp of the Referendum, pray for how freedom is used and the future only God foresees.

Beach Christmas

This Christmas, I departed from the usual pattern of travel to Virginia in favor of the ocean. With a handful of friends and a week for total relaxation (look, Ma, no work!), I packed a few pairs of trousers, a fleece, and some cookies.

A few lovely things about the week. Work was split between all of us; cooking and shared meals made it all a joy rather than the normal burden it can be when cooking for one.

How restful the week has been, and how good to enjoy a few lovely people with minimal stress.

By far the most lovely part of the break was the engagement of two lovely people, Matt and Lauren. Matt is Pam's brother, and so Pam was instrumental in pulling off Matt's plan. Me, with my inability to use digression, did not find out about the plans and my small part in them until the 11th hour. Thank goodness for friends who know you are bad at keeping secrets!

Morning of the engagement (Christmas morning!), Pam and I woke up at 5:45. Pam made up tea, packed a cooler with breakfast things, and we headed out to the beach. We set up and then waited in the car for them to arrive at the scene--a swing on the beach faced toward the rising sun.

How wondrous to participate in some small way!

Now, it's packing and letter writing, and then we head back to Nashville in the morning by way of Atlanta. More excitement and adventures to follow, including baking exercises for my first wedding cake!

For a bit of joy for you all, here's a recipe for Zimtsterne, one of the Swiss cookies I made for everyone to enjoy.

Optimisim and Activism

This Sunday, I had the opportunity to hear activist John Prendergast speak about preventing genocide in the Sudan. He offered realistic steps the average person could comprehend. Essentially, by making activism available to the average person through his outline of goals, he made it sound like we all can make a difference.

Note the "made it sound".

The critical, the academic side of me asked whether his goals were realistic, or whether specific, targeted action points were too optimistic.

So I turned to my friend who works in Africa, who spends her days bringing safe water to villages which would otherwise be exposed to disease through their water supplies. While I can't remember her exact response, she did target the faith an individual must have that she can make a difference if she is going to be willing to work for bringing about change.

Academic me had to step back and think about the implications. Did I believe that?

I realized that, on some level, I did have to believe that an individual, or a set of people, can take real steps to bring about real change. I believe that this must be inherent to living in community--which we all do. We might try to elevate individualism, or to ignore our obligations to one another. But, in a basic way, our actions (and inactions) have actual repercussions for those around us. Small decisions, like how we are getting to work today, if we look the homeless man in the face when he speaks to us, whether we stop and ask how someone is doing and wait for the answer, have real influence on our lives.

Why wouldn't this be the case for fighting poverty, ending domestic abuse, preventing genocide?

These small actions I do believe are possible, they reach far beyond what I think of as a small sphere of influence.

Simply because the problem is big does not mean that it is insurmountable.

Exercising (Daemons)

Patty and the Parthenon

Fall. It's one of the most glorious times of the year.

For a few short weeks, I can set out with just a sweater over my work clothes and arrive at school without making myself totally sweaty. The air is crisp, the leaves are starting to change, and the light has changed to a markedly colder cast.

Biking as my main form of commuting helps me feel that every day, especially now when I don't have the luxury of hour long runs or whole morning rides on my road bike. The very ability to get outside and enjoy myself while wearing 3 inch teaching heels (in the photo below) makes me (and my feet) happy.





I love the shapes that a bike and its shadow cast on the road

The other wondrous thing about biking is the sense of community it instills. There is one homeless man, who rides around in a neon safety vest, has long, grey, unkempt hair, and has a yellow-y, toothy smile. We say hi roughly 3-4 times a week, as our courses always seem to meet up (he bikes a mile-loop in Centennial Park in the opposite direction of my commute in). So imagine my pleasure at not only having him compliment my red dress, but the next time he saw me, mentioning that he "liked the red one better".

I like the red one better, too.

Could this exchange have happened if I had worn headphones? Sat in my car that morning?